I really love sweets, particularly chocolate. I could probably eat my weight in Hershey Kisses if I could afford it and no one caught me. I also loved baked goods--cookies, brownies, cake, to name a few. Place some ice cream on top and that is as close to paradise as I can get on this side of heaven. I have also unfortunately learned the hard truth--you can have too much of a good thing. You can eat so much cake that you wind up ill or so many cookies you can hardly move. Even though you love these things, and they bring you joy, too much is still too much.
I also love being positive. I love being described as sunshine or champagne (because its bubbly!), but I also know it is an easy to get carried away. Toxic positivity is the belief that regardless of how awful a situation is, people should still possess the ability a positive mindset. It rejects the notion in which individuals should fully experience all of their emotions and instead replaces all feelings with feelings of optimism. And just like it sounds, its a façade.
Although it is obviously beneficial to our mental health to be as optimistic as possible, we also know life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. We all deal with pain. Although unpleasant to experience, these emotions help is to grow and learn as human beings, actually increasing our capacity for positive thinking in the long run, because we learn to appreciate the good even more.
Worried this sounds like you? Here are some warning signs for toxic positivity:
Do you experience guilt for feeling sad or angry? For example do you feel like a bad parent when you are angry or disappointed in your child? All parents feel like bad parents from time to time, but it also completely normal to feel sad or angry.
Do you dismiss others bad feelings? when someone is sad, do you embrace them in their sadness, or do you use dismissive expression such as, don't cry, it will be ok?
Do you hide your own painful emotions behind a false smile? Do you find yourself spending much of your day faking happiness or saying, "It's fine?"
Do you ignore your own problems and wait for them to resolve themselves? Do you toss aside overdue bills or avoid difficult conversations?
As human beings, we are designed with a plethora of emotions all made to create the human experience. While being positive is a good thing, it is also important to remember to be sincere. Sometimes when someone is struggling the biggest help you can be is to let them know you struggle too. Even the happiest of us will eventually need a hug or compassionate ear. Remember its great to be happy, but it is also ok to be sad, angry and 100%, unapologetically YOU!
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