It has been an interesting past few weeks in the community in which I live. I think most people can agree that since the onset of the pandemic, we have gotten to see some of the best and some of the worst of humanity. I daresay that some of what I have seen most recently has been some of the worst. What has brought it out in people? Back to school.
Let me be very clear. You know what kind of moms send their kids back to school? Good moms. You know what kind of moms are choosing the virtual school or home school route? Also, good moms. In the past several weeks, I have seen moms and parents in general attacked across the board with the most undeniable hostility.
You are a terrible parent if you are sending your child back to school. Don't you know that there is a pandemic? You are sending your child to die. I have heard these things and so much more verbatim. I also know and love plenty of parents who have put their children back in school. Many of these children need the IPE from the school district they are in. Plenty of these parents need to work and do not have the luxury to not work or work from home. These are good moms that love their kids. They are also trying not to be homeless and put food on the table.
You are a terrible parent if you are choosing virtual school. Don't you know that your child will never catch up and will be deficient for the rest of their life? I have heard this, personally, and much more as a mom who has chosen the virtual school route for my child. Do you know who chooses the virtual school route? Moms that have that as an option, or moms of children with pre-existing conditions.
I have also heard that teachers are being selfish. Well, I am also a teacher, and being nervous about your health and the health of your colleagues and students is far from selfish. We obviously love our students or we wouldn't be teachers and truly want to do everything in our power to have them turn out to be successful human beings. Hearing this, and again I have, personally heard this, blows my mind.
When did we stop being loving and supportive to one another regardless of a difference of opinion? When did we become so polarized that love has turned into staunch hatred. As a community, we will never agree on everything. We never have, but we need to figure out a way to regain a level of acceptance and civility before it is too late. How can we do this? A few tips.
Respect someone else's opinion that is different from your own. Really listen. You might learn something new. I learn new things everyday.
Practice one of my mom's favorite practices--if you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Interestingly people have gotten so emphatic with their opinions that I truly believe that they convince themselves that they have to share it. Like if they don't, they will die. Believe me when I say that no one has ever died from keeping their opinion in. Ever.
Have conversations about other things and find common ground. I realize that this is an election year (it's kinda hard to miss), but that does not mean that politics are the only thing to discuss. Need some ideas? Try these: movies, television shows, music, the weather. Caveat--I do believe that difficult discussions do sometimes need to happen in safe, healthy ways. That being said, there really are other things to discuss.
Don't deprive another of a blessing. If you think something nice say it. Say it to a complete stranger when you like their hair, or a family member when you know they just aced a college algebra exam. Bring back kindness. Make it cool again.
It is so easy to get sucked into all the negativity. It is so easy to be defensive when someone disagrees with your position. I know this. Its not easy for me either. I also know how important it is to recognize that this is happening and that it is overdue to try something new. Compromise, compassion and kindness. It is OK to virtual school your kids. It is OK to send your kids back. We are all good moms and we are all good people. Its time to remember that.
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