I don't know about you, but 2020 has been an absolute mess for me and my family. Our year started with my husband deciding to have a near death experience culminating in a long hospital stay in another state (only a two hour drive away, but yes, still another state!!) He gets better, goes back to work (which thank God, finances were another crisis in themselves!), and I let down my guard. Yes, I say in my head, possibly out loud, because, yeah, I do that, things will finally get back to normal! Then....
WHAM! Coronavirus, COVID-19, whatever you call it!
While it has thankfully not affected m family monetarily (my heart goes out to all of you), it has affected me, emotionally. We are very fortunate at this point to not personally know anyone that has bee diagnosed (again my heart is with you), but I feel strangely... violated...
A dear friend of mine does a training program as part of a grant that teaches its participants to be positive pro social bystanders. If you ever have the opportunity to participate in this program, I highly recommend it!! During the training, we do this activity where we are forced to feel how it would feel to lose the things that matter the most to us. I have been thinking about this activity a LOT over the past few weeks because the feeling is so similar... While I cannot say enough, I know I am extremely fortunate, I have lost...
-Seeing my students everyday. Teaching isn't a job for me. It's my purpose from God. Not getting to actually be there and watch those light bulb moments, growth and development makes me so sad... It feels like I am missing part of myself.
-Going to conferences to talk about happiness and positive psychology. There is nothing like hearing you have changed someone's life... All of that is lost. All of the speaking engagements and book signings I had on my calendar are cancelled. Another huge chunk of my heart gone.
-Hugs. I am a huge hugger and completely embrace the adage that the average human being requires 7 hugs a day for optimal mental health. I usually shoot for 20 or more! I can't hug my own mom. I am very lucky that still get to see her, mostly because she is considered compromised, and I run her errands (medication and groceries for her), but I can't hug her. One of my dearest friends lost their father this week. I couldn't see her or hug her. Again, another chunk of my heart gone.
I could continue, but the point being that we are all slowly losing chunks of ourselves. We are attacking each other on social media for making"unessential outings" and fighting about whose fault this is. With each passing quarantined day, we are losing more and more of what makes us-us!
My wish for you today is to find a little way every day to still be yourself. Don'
t lose sight of what matters most in this very strange time. After ll, we really have no idea when this will all end, or if it will ever be the same. How can you take back the little pieces of your heart that are being chipped away?
For me, those students I love so much, I am going to send emails and check on them and do everything in my power to make sure that they finish this semester and continue to go after their dreams.
I am going to keep writing, not only this blog, but a second and who knows, maybe even a third book, so that when conferences and workshops happen again, i am ready and able to spread my joy.
Those people I can't hug are going to be so tired of texts and emails from me. i am going to learn and embrace
a new way of showing affection and love.
How about you? How are you taking your heart back?
Comentários