A few years ago, SnapChat released a Hello Kitty SnapChat filter. If you know me in regular life, and even if you don't, you probably know that I have a mild Hello Kitty obsession. I must have taken a selfie as her in every possible angle, with every possible facial expression. I think the best part was how it made me feel-- I am finally Hello Kitty. This just feels right!! In that moment, I liked me. I liked me as Hello Kitty, sure, but I truly, genuinely, liked me!
The interesting thing with filters is that we as modern human beings cannot get enough of them and apply them liberally throughout our lives. We like how some filters make us look and feel. Some filters are more metaphorical, we simply do not share the times and places where we feel depressed, alone, fat or unattractive. The problem with filters, is that the filters that exist solely in our own awareness are truly ugly filters--these filters are composed of negative self-talk and self-hate. These filters say things to ourselves, that we would never say to another person, but seem to remain a constant in our own heads.
When I first started helping people, I felt defeated by negative self-talk. It seemed like no one WANTED to break the habit of self-deprecation. They were comfortable in that zone, and most of us hate getting uncomfortable or making change. I gave up reminding people to "replace that negative with a positive because it just did not work."
Then one day I had an idea, an idea to apply a brand new filter to my life. I call it my best friend filter. When I started to fall into the pit of despair, I would stop myself and say OUT LOUD, who does my best friend say I am? And then I would answer, also out loud:
My best friend thinks I am wonderful. My best friend thinks I truly make a difference in the lives of countless people around me. My best friend is proud of me and thinks I am beautiful, inside and out. My best friend believes I can change the world.
I ugly cry every time I do this exercise. Because in my heart, I know this is the real me, no the "hate filtered" me. And I love this version of me! You will too! I encourage you to try this! Sit down and ask yourself-who does my best friend say I am! Please share your story in the comments!
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