This post may feel a bit more raw and vulnerable than some of my other posts, but it is what is on my heart to blog about this week. Here's why, this week, I have really struggled with my own positivity. That's right. You can know all the tools and all the tricks but still experience moments when even the happiest and most positive of all of us struggle. I want to get very real on the things I am focusing on to get myself through this snag in my happy existence. My genuine hope is this can help someone else who is still struggling, despite knowing exactly what they are supposed to do.
I should be exercising more and getting more sunshine. Bubble baths and nice smelling lotion are also a must. Maybe some favorite coffee or a glass of wine. All of those things every self-help blog, article and book will recommend. Here is my issue right now. I have done all the things, and am still not great. So beginning today, I am going to take everything deeper and get to the bottom of why I am having so much anxiety and worrying so much.
The first thing I am going to do is fix what I can. So far this has involved a conversation with my superior at work, which actually went way better than my anxiety allowed me to think it would. There are other things in my life that also require a fix right now, and I will be making progress through that list at a rate that is not causing even more anxiety for me.
The next thing I am going to do is begin saying no. I have once again fallen down the rabbit hole of YES, OF COURSE I WANT TO DO THAT! Effective immediately, I am only going to say yes when I actually want to, and not because I feel some weird non-existent obligation to rescue the entire world. Because I just can't. So if you are reading this and I have said yes, know this, it is because I really want to. If I said no, please know I still love you, but need to take better care of me right now.
Falling right in line with saying no, is establishing better boundaries. I keep getting upset because I feel used and taken advantage. Again, fixing what I can, I am establishing far healthier boundaries to alleviate that feeling for me.
Perhaps most importantly, I am taking better care of me. I am making sure I get to my WW meetings. They have become an invaluable part of life which keeps me healthy and sane! I am going to address my own needs before I start worrying about what someone else might need now or in the future. I forego so much for me because I feel like I need to put everyone else first every single time And while it is nice to put others first, I need to remember my own mantra, I can't pour from an empty cup.
I hope that by putting this work into getting myself back up to where I belong on the positivity spectrum, I can learn to maintain better through things like walks and bubble baths, so I don't get to this point again. I think that is a big part of my message. If you feel good, continue to take care of yourself. If you wait until you feel bad, it is already too late. Take the time for you today, and everyday. Self-care is preventative not a medication. Start now.
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